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How to Keep Him Involved

Let's face it, when it comes to wedding planning most of the decisions are completely for the bride. You want his opinion on the events to be scheduled (or do you really want his confirmation that your decisions are fabulous?). You could spend all day on the phone with your mother discussing how well the hydrangeas balance the calla lilies or whether the dresses you picked for the bridesmaids are periwinkle or lavender blue? Chances are involving him to this level will end with you upset. Either he'll learn the art of sleeping with eyes open while nodding instinctively at your pauses or he'll tell you this is not something he's interested in, which will undoubtedly hurt your feelings. So, what's the balance? How do you keep him involved with planning and help take some of the load off of you while not frustrating one another.

 

Know His Interests

Think about what it is that keeps him interested. Is he great at planning and organization? How about putting him in charge of managing the guest list? Or the registry, updating items as you receive them and tracking whether or not you have sent thank-you notes. Does he thrive at financial planning? Ask him to take charge of the budget. Tracking deposits, when payments are due and making payments to vendors. Is he an architect at heart or does he have a knack of spatial planning? How about letting him arrange the tables for the reception and assign the place settings? Find something he is good at and enjoys and let him run with it. If he takes on a task let him do it. He may not execute the way you would but if it's getting done, maybe his way works too.

 

Registering-Fun for All

Involve him in the registry process. Is he going to have a firm opinion on whether you should select the gold or platinum rimmed fine china, maybe not. Much like you may not have much of an opinion on whether you need the alloy wheels on your new car. But does he love making breakfast on Saturday mornings? Or is he a coffee buff? Ask him to research kitchen electrics online and help you determine which is the best brand to register for. On registry day, allow him to hold the registry scanning gun (guys love technology, chances are he will be fascinated with the gun) and find the appliances he selected. After the hunt he will be able to scan the items he helped research.

 

Debrief:

Set aside a time each week or every other week to update one another on your progresses. This is a time when he has the floor to update you on his to do's and you can do the same. You will have his full attention as he should yours. You each have time to share and can discuss steps to accomplish before the next meeting, also great time to compliment each other's accomplishments.

 

Bottom line, this process is supposed to be fun for both of you and it should be work for both of you. However, no need to torture either one of you. Maximize on both of your strengths, work as a team and you are sure to tackle this process with ease.

 
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